guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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