Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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