I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
