WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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