The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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