We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
