I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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