I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
