I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
