Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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