Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
