Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize