She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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