I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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