We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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