the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
