Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
