i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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