oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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