I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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