we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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