Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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