she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
nutella sex= disaster
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
