there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
