it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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