Midget sex pt 2 tonight
well you can't waste a boner
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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