Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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