Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
