So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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