Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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