Tell her she can't have a vagina
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
