Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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