The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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