sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
