would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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