I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
