Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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