He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
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