You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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