I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
