If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
