Can Purell be used as lube?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
