you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
