I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
