Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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