Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize