yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
