You're my little dorito
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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