ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize