16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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