I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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