where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
