bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
