No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
