So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
