I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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