Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
