The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
