Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
