Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
