I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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