I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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