We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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