forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
