I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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