I cockslap morals
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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