I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
