I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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