Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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