they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
