It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
