Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
